The Expectations of a Nigerian First Lady- Kelechi Ononuju

The office of a first lady should have respect and everyone must bear in mind that the first lady is not elected like the husband. She is expected to play her role perfectly by assisting and making her Husband  productive to the people. She is expected to pursue things that matter to the people via her husbands office.

The first lady office is not expected to have budget like most governors do. The moment your first lady starts looking deep into the state finances, there must be corruption.Forget sycophants that feel like worshiping a First lady, it is wrong and not the way it should be.

The first lady MUST be respected. She must respect herself also by honoring the constitution, by ensuring and reminding her husband ‘EVERY NIGHT’ that it is important he does this and that as required, not to be in Japan, Germany attending one show biz while her husband is left in the hands of surrounding ‘Ripo’ men who will eventually destroy him as in all cases.

These days in Nigeria, you hardly see Governors attend functions with their wives. They are at Aba attending one and their wives are in Soweto attending a fashion fair. There is an important person who really wishes a man well – a wife who truly loves you and the mother of your children. A dedicated wife. She will know when you are worried. It cannot be measured or quantified. She will look at your face and know the past, present and next. She will advise you so well that you will build that reassuring confidence in her.

Including their emotions, the Ladies are more clever and wise men know this. Allow your first lady to start this unpopular exhibition fair fueled mainly by sycophants and you will know what I mean. She will dabble into local govt, state comm etc and complicate issues. The Government/Politics is like a battle field and the only peace is home. Do not joke with it.

A man who does not really spend time (quality time) with his family can never be a real man. Most Government officials will always leave govt with one bad name or the other. This is common no matter how well you served the people but you must try to dessociate this coming new name from your family you will always fall back on. History has an easier way of setting accusations right or wrong if only one man is accused than a family. When a man is accused of wrong doings in public office together with his wife, then it is bad. It can stain the family name. Nothing as good as people saying ‘his wife kept telling/correcting him but he will never listen’. It is always very important that someone somewhere is saying this for the posterity of your children.

Kingdoms have fallen because wife and husband were accused together, even decapitations. The masses take it more serious than accusing only the man. Ask France, Europe, Phillipines etc. Ohakim cannot really understand now if the talking problem was his or his wife’s. They both received equal accusation which is not what it should have been if the First lady played her role very well. She could have won him a second term.

Have you all not heard of men who were to be punished for not delivering but because of their wife’s good nature they were given a second chance. (Ask Abia, Benue, Ebonyi States, etc how far). I am not an expert but the women folk is totally different.

Most people have strange concepts when it involves women. There are still good wives but not good first ladies. The first ladyship is an art and when perfected, Same masses will beg her (First lady) to lead them when the husband is no more. Ask India, Pakistan, Some Asian Countries, Brazil and other South American countries.

Present presidents have had to caution their first ladies because their present situation would have been cut short by EFCC long time due to his first lady past interferences in state matters, The office of first lady must be there before I am misunderstood but with limits. She is the best half of the governor and her role is to support the husband 150% and not to have a different ambition from her husband. This is where the average Nigerian first lady misses it entirely.

Help your husband achieve his goals because those goals are also your first primary goals. After all, Clinton, Blair, Putin all had wives or were they eunuchs?. Their wives were still known but decently and these men were powerful men. Even Hitler had a wife who was decent……..I have seen a situation were a commissioner was sacked because the governor’s wife (first lady) did not really like his greetings and face, she just kept insinuating and finally the man was sacked and he became a Number ONE enemy to the Governor during re-election.

A First lady must learn to accept everybody facially and advise her husband later on privately. The problem is that these First ladies in Nigeria do not spend time with their husbands again talkless of advising him. The first lady’s schedule is busier than the Governor’s schedule.

To me the Governor/Husband is first the family spokesman while the wife is first the MD/CEO of the family. What ever comes out of that house is a product of the wife including the Husband/Governor. It is her duty to ensure that goodwill radiates from her family to the public.

Then as Governor, the Husband is the MD/CEO of the public and to that same public his wife, the First lady should be Adviser extra ordinary , with a contemporary invincible articulated personality.Put differently, the family belongs to the woman (First lady) and the public belongs to the Husband (Governor) It is like this, but what the public fail to understand is that the husband (Governor) belongs to the family where the wife (First lady) is MD/CEO. So who in charge?. You can already see that she has a full functional main job running the family where the Governor belongs to as a Father/Spokesman?.If she understand this, then the first lady office she will handle as a well paying overtime job.

If this clarity is maintained and well understood. Then, you have yourself a wonderful wife,  and subsequent good First lady. For every man who is doing well there is a good woman praying for him. These our Nigerian first ladies do not have time to pray for their husband to govern well for the people because they are more busy than their husband with their sycophant induced shining projects nationwide.

Who suffers – The public.. The bible said that they (man and woman) will come together and become one. Are they one in Nigeria?.No. They are two persons with two different Chief’s of staff, different PAs, different SAs and two quite different agenda(s). Too bad.

If we must learn the western democracy then let us learn it in all totality not selectively.

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